International Womens Day 2009

I read about this "day of women" on my daughter's bolg (Melissa@web-betty.com) and thought about it for a while before I decided it was worth giving a few good words to the good women I've known in my life, and who might not otherwise hear a lot of those.

My Daughter: I said a lot of how I feel about her on her blog. Suffice it to say here that she is one of the most incredible if surprising accomplishments of my life! In spite of, or because of me, she is who she is, and I take as much pleasure in other's appreciation of this wonderful soul as those who know her! (Read more on her blog)
I think one of the things that strikes me the most about my daughter is her undying, unflagging support for the "underdog". There is someplace in my daughter's soul that jumps out, grabs, and tries to uphold anyone struggling or in trouble. She just has to help anyone trying to help themselves. She can't help it. I love that about her.

Lori: I take care of this gentle soul these days, winding down toward the end of her life. Every day is a struggle for her; to get out of bed. To get to the table for lunch. To take care of her little Mitzi, her poodle. Her body is giving up, leaving this bright, humorous, livelymind trapped in a body that won't take her any of the places that wonderful mind still imagines. Still longs and plans to see. I don't know about anyone else. I am a fairly strong person. But I am not sure I could keep getting up, day after day, year after year, it's been 10 now!

This strong, glorious soul took care of her 92 year old Mother for two years, with the same COPD she has right now, by herself!!! It has been a true pleasure to know her, and a strong lesson in faith and strength to be around her. "On your way up Lori, grab the rail"

Kari: Another gentle soul who has found how hard it is to live in this world and still remain gentle. Kari raised a daughter by herself, as I did my two kids. After all the people who have used her and betrayed her in her life, at this time of life, she still has enough faith in the good of the human soul to try and trust people. Kari is the type of woman that men see, because of that very "gentle soul" as an easy target to use. Now don't let me hear from you guys! Those of you who are like that know who you are, and those of you who aren't know that too and aren't offended. You good men know there are bastards and users out there too! It's a human failing
and NOT by any means gender specific!
Kari and I have been friends for over 20 years. That's a very long time, an incredible number of late night talks, and an amazing wealth of emotions between two people. And yet, here we are. In spite of that.

Terri & Stephanie: Two women who were used, beaten, betrayed and subjugated by the people in their lives, and who both found the courage to leave, move on, try to change their lives for the better. And who both died at the hands of the ones they trusted. One was raised in a well-to-do family, but ended up with the wrong man. The other, raised in a familyof prostitution, drugs, and no support. One of the murderers was caught and sent to prison, one not. BOTH of my friends are dead. Can you guess which one got justice, and which was the "also dead"? I am so proud of them both for doing what they could to get out, get away, be better.

My Mom: I left her for last, because when you get to my age, you realize a lot of things about your parents. Not the least concerting of which is having to acknowledge that they were people, lovers, and all the other things we never associate with our "parents".
MyMother was a really COOL person. To her friends, she was smart, sarcastic, witty and the one people wanted to be around. Unfortunately, she loved that, and sometimes it left little time for the two children she had. Because just as children have a hard time looking at their parents as people, so it with parents and their children. They are our children, and as such, they will never know, think,see as much as we have. I know SO much better than that, thanks to my two children, who have shown me just how wrong and misguided I can be about things I have truly believed for so many years! It's a good thing! A thing my mother never realized.
I loved my mother...I still do. I got my sarcasm, my wit, my love of so many different kinds of music from her. I (sporadically) got suppot of my writing, which pushed me to finish my 1st book, just to prove to her that I could! Unfortunately, I also got my belief that our children should NEVER question, should just agree and mind. But I also have to thank her for the genes that obviously skipped me, only to come back super strong in my children & made them question and defy what they knew wasn't right for them.

So to my mother, I say thanks for everything you did, and didn't give me. What you gave me made me push myself. What you didn't, taught me where to push, and when not to. Love ya.

If there are women in your life that you admire, that you love, or that have just made a difference in your life, tell them